Dr. Sharon Knafo is a wonderful addition to Temple Sinai and the Shenker Academy this year. I have got to know him and his family and they are a delight. He has brought stability and organization to our youth education along with great analytical insight. He has made one grave mistake: that of challenging me to a Sumo Wrestling bout at the Purim Carnival.This will be happening on March 1 and it will not be fun for Dr. Knafo.
What he fails to realize is that the ancient art of Sumo was actually the invention of the Talmudic rabbis of Babylon. While the Roman occupiers were surrounding the Jerusalem Temple in the year 68 C.E. there was an elite fighting squad of Jewish sumo wrestlers who would work in the shadows of the old city walls to terrify the occupiers. Rabbi Yose ben Nakamoto and Shmuel ben Yoshida began a covert training camp in the women’s courtyard of the Temple. They worked on the sumo moves that we all know and love like the belly bazinga and the abdomen armageddon. Roman soldiers would run, screaming in torment as these rotund rabbis would approach.
Not only did the rabbis invent this fighting skill but they combined it with the esoteric field of kabbalah to make a truly fearsome fusion. Sumo rabbis would combine and recombine letters of the secret names of G-d to enhance the power of their moves much like the modern day Power Rangers. Dr. Knafo should know that, since I am in a direct line from those ancient Rabbis, they have passed on these secret moves from person to person to make the lean, mean, fighting machine that you see before you on Temple Sinai’s bimah. You’re going down!
….also, Happy Purim!
Rabbi Malcolm Cohen